It is well documented that for every mile
that you jog, you add one minute to your
life. This enables you at 85 years old to
spend an additional 5 months in a
nursing home at $5000 per month.

I don't jog, it makes the ice jump
right out of my glass!

I joined a health club last year and haven't
lost a pound Apparently you have to attend.

I like long walks, especially when
they are taken by people who annoy me.

I don't exercize at all. If the good Lord had intended
me to touch my toes, he would have put them
much closer to my hands.

I have flabby thighs,
but fortunately
my stomach covers them.

The advantage of
exercising every day
is that you die healthier.

The only reason
I would take up
jogging is so I could hear
heavy breathing again.